Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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