he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
