We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
