no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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