I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
