she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
