Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
