We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
