I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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