Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
