Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
