It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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