It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
