Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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