you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
