Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize