we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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