I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My vagina is officially offended.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
