your room smells of hookers.
And success
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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