Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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