I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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