so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
