I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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