420 ftw
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
