Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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