I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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