we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
