if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am spending my child support on dildos
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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