Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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