Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
