Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
