The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
