She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
