like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
