"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
