Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
