my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize