Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
