I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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