my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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