The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
