I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The Olympian is in my bed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize