Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I love you. Go after that dick
My life is pants optional.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
