But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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