matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she smelled like a LAN party
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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