He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
