called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
