fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
