i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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