drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
