I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
