Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
