dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
