remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
