All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The air was thick with penises
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
