When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
