we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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